Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way
Saturday, October 3, 2009 13:29Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way
How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term
partner only to find, the very next week, someone who was obviously all
wrong for them? It’s one of the most common after effects of the end of
relationships: rebound dating.
The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think
about dating that it just seems natural to look for one after a breakup.
There’s something to be said for getting “back in the saddle,” choosing a
partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good
overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do
it.
Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset
The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is
to take an honest look at what you’re feeling and understand how those
feelings can lead you places you’d rather not go. A lot of times we just
miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our
schedule and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken.
In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesn’t
involve romance.
Maintain your standards
The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all
wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them
a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person you’re thinking about
dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you’d normally
want, stay away. The people don’t make for good relationships, rebound or
otherwise.
Beware of the handiest person
When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We don’t
have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend
to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport
with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at
the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for
someone you’ve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and
think about what’s really going on here.
Take time for yourself
Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some
new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.” There’s a difference.) Get
involved in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for.
Whatever you do, don’t sit around pining for your ex or scouring the
bookstore shelves for self help books.
Be gentle with yourself.
Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a
relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on
energy. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for
a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you
enjoy.
Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you’re
lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. If you do decide to get involved with
someone after a breakup, though, make sure you’ve taken a little off by
yourself and you’re not lowering your standards. While we can prevent
broken relationships: rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid.
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