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To Get Your Ex Lover Back ? Apologize The Correct Way

Friday, November 20, 2009 10:58

An apology is like a scalpel, if used correctly it saves lives, loved ones and can cut away years of damage, but used incorrectly and it swiftly severs the heart from the body PERMANENTLY

Millions, if not billions of dollars have been paid in lawsuits that could have been saved with an effective apology. When an apology is done correctly it can truly perform what seems to be a miracle.

It is not uncommon of course, for women and men take partners back after affairs, but it is also more common than one would think where families have forgiven murderers, rapists and many more offenses much more awful than most couples do to each other.

An apology is a very powerful weapon providing it is done the right way, in many cases it has been the turning point in healing a relationship. It really is an admission of a wrong doing and must be seen to mean just that.

We must never use an apology as a defense or an excuse. How many times have you heard and probably said yourself “I am sorry BUT…” and then follows a list of reasons and excuses, only some of which may be near the truth. Hey! That may well be ok for small insignificant things like being a few minutes late for a meal or a small appointment, but we are discussing big things here, like maybe saving a strong relationship or even our marriage.

When making an apology it is very important not to place emphasis on who’s right and who’s wrong. Remember it is an admission of wrong doing. Accept responsibility for the rift. Are you trying to save face? Or save your relationship?

Here are some tips on a good apology….
Acknowledge how the other person feels, take some time putting yourself in their shoes, be very careful NOT to say “I know how you feel” because the truth is you do not know how they feel right now and it can easily backfire and it really is a cop out.

Him…”You must be so frustrated with me, angry and hurt.”

Her…”Yes I am frustrated and getting a little angry.” Or maybe “I am beyond being angry I am hurt”
Either way you both come out ahead BECAUSE you have a better understanding of their feelings and they feel heard and acknowledged.

Him…”I understand, I am letting my problems get in the way of our relationship, I have promised to be home early but I keep letting you down.

Her…Well, I realize that it is not all that easy at work…

Him…Thanks, but it is really not an excuse…I want you to know that I feel so terrible for letting you down. Maybe, we need to talk about this some more?
So they sit down and talk instead of having an argument.

This has been an example of an apology on what might seem to be a fairly small matter, but broken relationships all start with small things and if nothing is done about it they soon become very big things. Taking responsibility for a rift in the relationship can go a very long way in resolving that rift.

I recently read a book about saving relationships and about getting your partner back after a sometimes bitter parting. There are very few relationships that CANNOT be saved with the right advice and planning that this particular book imparts.
Apologies are covered in full, even how to apologize after having an affair or strangely, apologizing if your wife/girlfriend had an affair.

Access helpful recommendations in the sphere of Meeting Women – study this webpage. The times have come when concise info is really only one click away, use this possibility.

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